YOUR DUMB – Are Chiropractors Mystics?

Chiropractors are everywhere. They are ferociously marketing themselves to my Dear Reader, nagging passers-by near a mall kiosk, and fishing (phishing?) their way into the offices of medical doctors. In all of these facets, they are relaying a message stating a comprehensive healing ability by musculoskeletal, specifically spinal, manipulations to fix vertebral subluxations. One could simply read the Wikipedia page to learn how it’s fraudulent since this is well-trodden, but reading my cool swear words and fantastical wit is infinitely more entertaining. Plus, new chiropractic operations continue to open all the time and I’m going to learn from doing this.

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YOUR DUMB – Paper or Plastic?

With Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio breathing hot CO2 down your neck, Teslas electrically hitting the speed of light, and every barely-sentient lip piercing at Whole Foods being totally insufferable, you’ve become hyper-aware of your carbon footprint and climate change. So let me ask you a question, should you use paper or plastic bags when you are packing up your supermarket items? Moreover, are you, as my title suggests, dumb? (more…)

Does the NBA Hate White People?

There has been a monumental paradigm shift occurring in the sport of basketball over several decades. I believe it has reached its summit, or at least I hope we’re close. Few have spoken up while many have stayed silent, possibly out of fear that they may be ostracized, fired, or worse, as is par for the course when one talks about diversity or makes a funny joke about AIDS. However, I believe most people are not even aware of what I am about to present, but it’s been right underneath their thin noses the whole time. The climate of the NBA has shifted so dramatically that it’s hardly recognizable from its roots. Just recently Oscar Robertson was asked about political activism in today’s sport, to which he responded, “where are the white athletes while this is happening?” My response to Oscar is, what white athletes?
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YOUR DUMB – Are Protein Supplements a Sham?

The global supplement industry is going to reach $278 billion by 2024. The regulation and scientific evidence for many of the biggest sellers is sparse. Muscle Protein Synthesis (MPS) and its expression from dietary intervention is our main concern today. What I want to know is the dosage of protein/amino acid combination necessary to induce MPS most effectively and efficiently, particularly before/during/after exercise, but I’ll try to summarize every piece worth noting. (more…)

DANGER – Exercise Variation Lurking Ahead

Millions of people have sprinted into my DM’s inquiring about exercise variation. So, today, I’d like to broach this topic and discuss why I believe many “experts” out there hide behind it. There are many of these experts in the fitness industry, so this blog post is going to be imperative. Western civilization’s current health status is a rather gnarly indictment of these authority figures. We’re a generation of fat men and women raised by experts. I’m wondering if another expert is really the answer we need. (more…)

The CrossFit Question

Millions of people flood my DM’s every week asking me the CrossFit Question. It’s become quite clear to me that most experts are afraid to tackle the JQ- I mean CQ. It’s a radioactive topic and I’m risking my life with this post, as per usual on this blog. Just yesterday a young college student came up to me and asked, “why are CrossFitters so jacked?!” I smacked him on the top of his head with a tack hammer, instantly raising this country’s average IQ. What I’m saying is that you have a moral obligation to murder stupid people. (more…)

LETTER XXXIX – Looking the Part (Mahatma Gandhi)

LOOKING THE PART by Mahatma Gandhi

The quest for a muscular physique is obviously a material endeavor, one caused, continued, and concluded by ingesting and digesting. I must invoke the First Law, one cannot create energy, he must consume it. Some might consider this quest to be superficial, surface level. However, one finds a shocking amount of internal friction and ensuing growth when walking the path. Moreover, it might be admitted by the experienced traveler that it is mostly mental, and, dare I say, spiritual. Please, let me make the case! (more…)

LETTER LIX – Imperfection (Kanye West)

IMPERFECTION by Kanye West

The Perfect Man is a Platonic ideal – an image of Perfection unattainable for material substrate – but nonetheless remains the target at the end of our aim. Man stands next to other flawed beasts on a cliff’s edge looking down into the abyss. Across the pond is God, to whom there is no bridge. Many a man has jumped and fell, and many more will. (more…)

The NBA – In Memoriam

America has split itself down the middle, and I see one camp of GS super/semi/bandwagon fans who loved watching them uh, defecate all over the entire NBA this year and speedwalk to a 16-1 record in the playoffs. The other camp despises Durant/GS and thinks this is bad for the NBA. The myth is still being propagated that nobody wants to watch a dynasty demolish the rest of the league, but the ratings are as good as ever and the NBA is thriving. However, as a humongous big fan and former player of the sport, it sucks shit to watch this GS team. Let’s talk about the state of the association.

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